Tom Is Not My Friend

So, I finally did it"¦ Heavily influenced by a close friend, I broke down and made a MySpace account. This is most definitely not an uncommon occurrence as there are about elevendy-billion profiles on the site today, but for me it is a big deal. I’ve never been a fan of social networks and their ability to let your distant acquaintances get a SnapShot â„¢ version of your personal life. So what is the first thing I see when I make my profile? Half of some dude’s back turned to look at me with a smile. You may know him as Tom.

After the initial wave of euphoria of having a new friend so early on in my MySpace experience had passed, I began to wonder: If Tom will be my friend, and your friend and everyone’s friend, how is that special? Not to mention that he is the one who supposedly created MySpace, the epitome of online stalking and bite-sized gossip. Immediately, I knew what I had to do"¦ remove Tom as my friend.

That got me thinking, how many people delete Tom and how long do they wait? I took a sample of users who signed up in January and watched them through the end of March to see if and when they removed Tom from their friends list.


I was surprised that 30% of users who removed Tom did so within their first hour of signing up which leads me to believe that either this was not their first profile or they are just as skeptical as me of having a token friend.

Other fun MySpace Facts.

  • For accounts created in January the average user waited 10.9 days to remove Tom
  • 17% of accounts created in January removed Tom before the end of March
  • For every 10 new accounts created from January through March, 9 people from the full MySpace member base removed Tom from their profile
  • At the time of this post, Tom has 173,366,273 friends
  • If one person was to sit in front of their computer for all attention spent on MySpace in March it would take them over 2,900 years

Hey Tom, if you were really my friend, how come you weren’t there for me when I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks ago? Why didn’t you call me up and say, “Lets go see Hot Fuzz this weekend”? Yah, thats what I thought. Later Tom, see you around.


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